Saturday, January 1st, 2005 Subject: Its a whole new year! Time: 12:46 am. I just got home from being out with some friends. Tonight was pretty f*in boring. I met up with Shaunna, Kaicy, Ryan (Kaicys boyfriend), Shaunnas boyfriend Ian and some other people and went over to this kid Michaels house. It was really boring, plus I wasnt drinking so it was even more boring. Watching people being drunk and stumbling over themselves is not my idea of fun... Anyway I left that party and I went and saw Jr. (my boyfriend) and I only got to see him for a minute because all of his family was over and he was supposed to be spending New Years Eve with them. I was about to go home because I was so sick of being out and watching my friends get all shit faced, but I decided to head downtown instead. On my way downtown, I decided to stop by my friend Clints house and say hi. It was around 11:30 by then and I just decided to hang out there until I had to go home because I really didnt want to be in the car when it turned into the next year. I called Jr on my way home and some guy said that he wasnt there so I got kinda butt hurt and I just drove home. He called me about 10 min later and told me that he was upstairs the whole time with his mom and his dad. I believe him... I just hate believing guys because I think that they are all scum.. but I knew that I had to believe him. I am so tired and I am completely ready to go and hit the hay... so I think I am going to go ahead and do that. I hope that everyone had a really great New Years and I hope that no one drove drunk. This is a new year and I have started it off sober :) Comments: Add Your Own. Thursday, December 30th, 2004 Subject: New Years Eve is tomorrow! Time: 11:24 pm. I feel like such a different person. I feel as though I have grown up a little bit in the past couple of weeks. I am not going to drink anymore and I have a special boy in my life. This special boy and I have been really good friends for about a year and a half and about 6 months ago he told me that he really liked me and wanted to be with me. I liked him too, but I was scared to be with him, because of my past with guys.. the _ _ _ _ and other things to go along with it. I couldnt trust anybody and I wouldnt let myself completely open up to him and just go along with what I was feeling but a couple weeks ago he got really mad at me that I didnt trust being with him and he made up some stupid little thing that he had a girl that he really liked like him back and that he didnt want to be my friend anymore (it turns out that he made that up so that I wouldnt be friends with him anymore so it would be easier for him to get over me) The past two weeks that we didnt talk really killed me. I would see him at work and he wouldnt even look at me and as those weeks went on I realized more and more that I thought about his so often and that my heart was broken that he didnt love me as a friend anymore, so when we worked together yesterday we didnt talk at all at first but then I asked him about his girlfriend and we started to talk about the whole situation. There is no other time then now that I have realized more that I want to be with him. Sigh.. what a good day. Comments: Add Your Own. Wednesday, December 29th, 2004 Subject: Another day.... Time: 1:05 pm. It is 1:05 pm and I woke up not even an hour ago. I stayed up really late last night because I couldnt sleep. I havent been sleeping very well lately and it is really taking a toll on me. I think that I am getting another spot on my stomach from that stupid virus that I have. I am all paranoid, but there is like a little tiny bug bite looking thing so I really do think that it is shingles. Everything is going so horribly lately, I just really want my life to get back on track. It was doing really well and then it just went downhill. I guess it is bound to do that. I wish it didnt have to though. I hate working at Round Table. I have been there for almost a year and a half and I am just getting so sick of it. I want to get another job so bad. I actually wish that I just met some guy who was extremely rich so I didnt have to work for the rest of my life, but who doesnt wish that? haha. Kind of unrealistic unfortunately. I have to go to school on Monday and I really dont want to. I have to read 2 and a half more books in about 2 weeks and I am so stressed out. I am going to graduate in June so there is no slacking possible right now. My teacher says that I am totally on top of things, which is great, but reading those books in 2 weeks is really really really stressing me out. I cant wait until next Friday because I have dance and I can dance out all of my stress, anger, and sadness. How excited am I? ... Very very very excited. Comments: Add Your Own. Tuesday, December 28th, 2004 Subject: " I hope you choke on those words that kissed that bottle.." Time: 6:40 pm. Well today.. sucked. I got a bug bite looking thing on my back a couple days ago and then today I looked at it and it had spread twice as much and it was spreading to an area below it, so my mom took me to the doctor and he told me that I have shingles. If anyone doesnt know what Shingles are, here ya go. Shingles (herpes zoster) are an outbreak of rash or blisters on the skin that is caused by the same virus that causes chicken pox - the varicella-zoster virus. Early signs of shingles include burning or shooting pain and tingling or itching located on one side of the body or face. After several days a rash of small blisters appears on reddened skin. The piercing and unrelenting pain associated with shingles can be set off by a gentle touch or a soft breeze on the skin. Anyone who has had chicken pox in the past is at risk for developing shingles later because the virus remains inactive, or dormant, in certain nerve cells of the body. Scientists are not certain why the virus reactivates, or why it only reactivates in about 20 percent of the people who have had chicken pox. There is evidence to suggest that a weakened immune system may cause the virus to break out of its dormant state, multiply, and move along nerve fibers to the skin. People with a weakened immune system, such as those with cancer or HIV, people over the age of 50, or who are ill, experiencing trauma, or under stress, are at risk for shingles. What a shitty day. Comments: Add Your Own. Monday, December 27th, 2004 Time: 9:52 pm. If you feel pain, I will be here until the pain is completely gone. I am here. Comments: Add Your Own. Sunday, December 26th, 2004 Subject: I love this song. Time: 8:22 pm. "Warmness On The Soul" Your hazel green tint eyes watching every move I make. And that feeling of doubt, it's erased. I'll never feel alone again with you by my side. You're the one, and in you I confide. And we have gone through good and bad times. But your unconditional love was always on my mind. You've been there from the start for me. And your loves always been true as can be. I give my heart to you. I give my heart, cause nothing can compare in this world to you. Comments: Add Your Own. Time: 8:14 pm. Christmas is over which is ccraazzy. It is almost the beginning of the new year... I wonder what I want to do differently this year. I love Le Tigre. They are one of my favorite bands ever. Comments: Add Your Own. Subject: Starting over Time: 8:01 pm. Mood: tired. I used to have another livejournal but I used to do some pretty horrible things and post them up. I am over that... I am over doing horrible things so I am starting over. I like that I am starting over. It feels really good. Comments: Add Your Own.

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